Today I heard about this UNDERGROUND jazz jam in Midtown and decided that I’d swing by to see what kind of crowd was hanging out there…

Anyways, upon arriving I realized that I hate jazz and instead I headed over to this dive bar down the street for $1 PBR night. Although I just admitted here that I hate jazz, it still sounds super hip and underground right? So I decided to tell everyone there about the “incredible jazz combo I just saw”. All of my friends were super intrigued, and my friend Angelo, who has a sweet handlebar mustache by the way, even suggested that we go down and check it out. Now I know what you’re saying, Marc, you just dug yourself a hole and walked right into your own trap.

Yeah, I would never admit you were right in person, but that’s exactly what the fuck happened.

We went back into that shit hole and listened to that crap for the next 4 hours, and the whole time I had to pretend like I was into it. Whatever, I looked super “in the know” for bringing everyone there. I could tell that nobody, including Angelo, his boyfriend Samson, or Samson’s girlfriend Jeaulein could stand it but were pretending just as hard as I was to love the jazz and hate the delicious premium beer we ordered. Too bad all of us are way too proud to admit it.

Whatever. I’m over it.

So guys, today I was going to class, but figured my time would be better spent making more vlogs at the apple store in hopes that my YouTube celebrity status will finally take off. I couldn’t figure out how to get the video onto YouTube, so I’m gonna give you guys an outline of what I said. Basically here it is in a nutshell:

Today I wanna talk about the importance of getting your education, and to give you all some pointers on increasing your photography skills.

One rule: digital sucks. It’s all about holga and fisheye guys. And don’t ever use 35 mm film, it’s too easy to develop. Make sure that your photos are of your friends at parties drinking Pabst blue ribbon, and if they’re not dressed well, don’t bother. When people are browsing your tumbleblog or flickr account, you want to put out an image that you run with a crowd as hip as you are.

Now you may be wondering, mark, what kind of bike do you ride. Well isn’t it obvious? I ride a fixed gear, but i converted it back to a single speed because let’s face it, nobody really liked fixed, it’s too hard. I’m the kind of rider who likes to pull my bike out of the garage once every couple months, call up all of my hipster douche friends and go ride in midtown, or if we can afford it, Portland or Seattle. The goal is to be seen by people have them think, wow that guy is awesome. Oh and guys, just a tip, you need to have a ton of spoke cards to make it look like you’re an experienced racer, and ride very slowly to avoid putting out physical effort and ruining your new American apparel summer t deep v and vest with needless sweat stains.

Anyways, I hope that was insightful and you guys are inspired to go out and shoot some sick shots of dewy leaves with your fisheye or shred up a parking lot on your sweet Republic Bikes fixed gear from urbanoutfitters.com. Or don’t. I don’t care.

Whatever.

So yesterday, I swore off guitar forever because some poser tried to steal Bon Iver, the band I discovered. Well I really did a lot of soul searching and came to this conclusion.

I’ll bet a ton of people were thinking the same exact thing about guitar being overrated, so to avoid fitting in to that crowd, I’ve decided to take up playing guitar again.

KEEP IN MIND me playing guitar is completely ironic. I would never do it unless it was.

I’m recording a cover of “Flume” by Bon Iver to be different. I’ll post the youtube link shortly. Watch it or not. I don’t really care.

Today I was supposed to go to school, but I realized that it was way more important to stay home and watch the episode of Lost I missed last night. I know what you’re thinking: Marc, how can you admit to liking such a popular show? How could you debase yourself like this, pigeon-holing yourself into such a “normal” category? Well truth is, I totally DON’T like it.

I decided to watch it once to see what the hype was all about but didn’t like it at all. I continue to watch it purely to be ironic and so I am in the loop when all of my friends talk about how stupid it is. Again: I don’t actually like it.

Anyways, gotta go. There’s this really intense scene with Sawyer and Kate coming up…

Not that I care. Peace

So I was about to leave the house today to meet some friends at a coffee shop, when I noticed my vintage steel string resonator guitar I bought on craigslist for $500 (What a deal, right?) I decided it was finally time to get around to learning “Skinny Love” by Bon Iver, I mean, that was the reason I bought that old piece of shit in the first place. Anyways, I sat down and saw that somebody had already done a cover of it on youtube (how did they hear about Bon Iver?) I then decided that playing guitar was overrated and decided not to learn a song at all.

is Haiti?!

Drinking, smoking, oddly placed knit caps.. It’s all a part of who I am and what makes me unique. So first, how about some introductions:

My name is Marc. I don’t really know what to say about this thing. I saw somebody using tumblr so I decided to get one in case it did in fact turn out to be popular. I don’t really care, but if does get big, I want everyone to know that I heard of it first.

Anyways, basically what I’m gonna do is get on here and document my daily experiences. Nothing fancy, just all of the awesome things I do with my life. because keeping those to myself would just be selfish. People need to know about the awesome shit I do. I keep it stylish, I keep it real, and I, Marc, am the true definition of a hipster.

A few things about me: I hang my saggy beanie in Seattle. Bottom line, dopest place on earth. You haven’t lived until you’ve ridden your fixed gear conversion to the Starbucks at Pike’s place and connected your iPhone to their WIFI.

So basically, here’s a typical day for me in a nutshell. Wake up whenever I want, do whatever I want, and go to bed whenever I want…or not at all, whatever! It’s all about me and all about what’s in. Cocaine? Sure I’ll try it as long as other people are too. Pabst Blue Ribbon, MOST DEFINITELY! That beer tastes like absolute piss water but I’m into it anyways.

You may be asking, Marc, do you have a job to support this lifestyle? You might as well be asking: Is it hip to listen to Nickelback? Of course not, I’m not part of that corporate machine. I refuse to waste my very important time conforming like the rest of American society. No, I’m a student of course. Your next question is probably going to be, “Oh wow, Marc, do you go to the University of Seattle?” No way. That shit is for the children of brainwashed yuppies like you. I’m a student of the world. Why go to class when Leo Tolstoy and Dostoevsky are sitting right on your bookshelf ready to teach you everything you need to know? Every social situation can be handled by reading “The Metamorphosis” by Franz Kafka.

Classical books and classical looks: that’s who I am. That’s who I will be, and that’s all I’ll ever be.

Follow me. Or not. I don’t actually care. But this shit is gonna be huge, so you jump on the bandwagon now before it gets too big.